Have you ever wondered how some people seem to always get exactly what they want? All they seem to have to do is snap their fingers and *poof* they've got the job they want, the home they want, the car they want, that gorgeous pair of shoes they want, even the soulmate they want. It's maddening, isn't it? Especially since most of us are floundering around, feeling inadequate, always wishing for things that never seem to materialize. And then we get resentful and even jealous. That's no way to go through life!
So today, I'm going to share with you the 6 secrets to getting what you want, no matter what it is! (And it's a heck of a lot simpler than you think!)
For more FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
Are YOU Ready to Unlease the Healthier, Sexier You?
Imagine having an unlimited amount of energy to nurture your health, an endless desire to make your health a priority, the effortless discipline to act in accordance with your priorities, and such a tremendous willpower that you no longer give into temptation. Imagine how much more successful, accomplished, fit and fulfilled you would be!
At last, someone has discovered the secret to achieving and maintaining your health goals and dreams easily and effortlessly so you can avoid premature aging and chronic diseases such as: heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes and obesity, and enjoy a much longer, healthier and happier life!
That individual is my friend and preventative medicine expert, Dr. Karen Lee Paquette. She is a physical therapist, naturopathic physician, and professor turned author and wellness coach. Her inspirational message is to let you know that you no longer have to struggle to integrate the principles of healthy living into your life. You can easily achieve the health and appearance goals you so desperately want, and more importantly, deserve.
With passion as the driving force and nothing in your way, it's EASY to maintain an ideal weight, eliminate fatigue, and love the life you live!
Sharing an intimate account of her own personal struggles and triumphs, Dr. Paquette in "Stop Being Stopped" will inspire you to live with vigor, follow your vision, and take control of your destiny. Let nothing stand in your way!
I'm proud to announce that I've teamed up with Dr. Karen and a dozen of her friends (including my Ayurvedic doctor, Dr. Helen Thomas) and colleagues on the international launch of her book. We are excited to collectively make you such a special offer.
Okay, so here's the deal:
We'll give you over $500 worth of bonus gifts FREE when you purchase a copy of this amazing book by following these 2 simple steps right now!
1. Click here to open a new window to Amazon to order your book now! (Keep this window open and return to enter your Amazon order number upon completion at Amazon.com)
2. After you place your order, just enter your name, email, and your Amazon Order Number in the form here. We'll ask you to confirm your e-mail and then we'll send you access to all the bonuses.
Here's what we have to say about Dr. Karen and "Stop Being Stopped"...
- Michelle Yozzo Drake, CEO - The Cove Group, Inc., and Author of "From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership"
My Gift: A downloadable audio "30 Action Steps to Jumpstart Your Career" - value: $79
"Dr. Karen has provided us all with a clear path to health AND most importantly has given us the means and mechanics to remove all of our obstacles on that path."
- Dr. Helen Thomas, Ayurvedic Specialist
My Gifts: "Guide to Effortless Ayurvedic Living" guide - value: $37; "Ayurvedic Beauty Type" online course - value: $47
"Wow - Dr. Karen has provided a simple, easy-to-follow guide to creating greater health and well-being. She gives the reader great tools, exercises, and easy-to-follow recommendations. I suggest you stop whatever you're doing (just for a moment) and get this book so you can begin to feel healthier, look better and become the sexier, unstoppable YOU that you deserve to be. I know I did!! Thanks again, Karen."
- Susan Guiher, MS CCC - Author, Speaker and Professional Coach
My Gift: "Jump Off the Balance Bandwagon" free tele-class - value: $49
"The GO Doctor offers a road map to well-being while giving us the green light to start the journey!"
- Kristen Marie Schuerlein, Founder of Affirmagy
My Gift: 20% discount off of Affirmagy blankets - value: limitless
"Karen's book entitled "Stop Being Stopped" gives us a step-by-step plan, elevating self-care, self-kindness and self-fairness so that we can't ignore our responsibilities to our bodies and our spirits. She urges us to protect our position of empowerment by choosing to act instead of react. Her personal victories over life challenges are exemplary, and I'm motivated to begin anew, reactiving my personal willpower."
- Debra L. Morrison, Founder of Debra L. Morrison Speaks, LLC
My Gifts: "7 Biggest Risks Women Investors Face" e-course - value: $79; "Compounding Wealth by Capitalizing on Boomer Gender Differences" e-course - value: $29
"Dr. Karen knows what gets in the way of living healthy, vibrant, happier lives, and she shares her expertise and those insights in this book. This is literally a road map to better health, filled with best practices regarding how to make positive choices and assessments for determining where we are and where we want to head. Open this book and step off the side-lines and onto the express lane to becoming a healthier, sexier you!"
- Corrie Woods, Author of "The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living"
My Gift: "The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living" e-book - value: $10
"My first 'ah ha' from 'Stop Being Stopped' came quickly on page three of Dr. Karen's enlightening book where she reports that '87% of women claim that their quest for health and wellness motivates their life decisions more than anything else' yet '70% report that they frequently do things that they know interfere with their well-being.' Wow, that hit home for me! It got me up off my butt and out walking again, and I've not stopped since. Thank you, Dr. Karen. That was the reality check I needed."
- Dharlene Marie Fahl, Author/Inspirational Speaker/Tea Specialist
My Gift: "Sipping Tea - Celebrating Me" e-book and seven daily prayers - value: $13
"Dr. Karen has nailed it! I'm a natural-health junkie, but this is the first book I've ever seen that handles mind, body and spirit together. For the GO DOCTOR knows that when you live a healthy life, you are better able to live your purpose. If you want to find more joy in life - read this book!! Oh, and the best bonus - the fatigue test. I've never seen anything like it. The GO DOCTOR really knows her stuff - take advantage and live your best!!!"
- Dr. Patricia Ross, Best Affirmations
My Gift: The Best Affirmations Workbook - value: $20
"The Go Doctor is just the right medicine for a healthy, vibrant life. Dr. Karen's insightful book, 'Stop Being Stopped,' was the green light I needed to get my health back on track. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking a sexy, healthy, inspired life."
- Elaine Starling, CEO of Promise Power
My Gift: The Promise Power Daily Gratitude Worksheet - value: $20
"The GO Doctor has given mankind one of the most precious gifts - heartfelt sincerity to external and internal wellness...utilizing passion, compassion, and her 'pearls' of wisdom to stimulate a happier and more energetic you!"
- Janice Bernhard, The "Happiness" Coach
My Gift: 1-hour Power Coaching with Mind Kinetics session - value: $125
"'Stop Being Stopped' gets to the heart of what holds us back from having the health and energy we need and want in our lives. I am completely amazed with the clarity of the roadmap she provides. It's holistic health at its finest. Her unique approach leaves no stone unturned because it encompasses not only the body, but the mind, heart and spirit as well."
- Faith Zimmerman, Radiant Life Strategies
My Gift: The Holistic Balance E-Course - value: $30
1. Click here to open a new window to Amazon to order your book now (keep this window open to know what to do next)
2. After you place your order, just enter your name, e-mail and your Amazon Order Number in the form here. We'll ask you to confirm your e-mail and then we'll send you access to all the bonuses.
...all of the fantastic entries I received will live on here at my blog!
If you missed out on last week's event, feel free to scroll down or click on the "lipstick leadership stories" tag at the bottom of this post to enjoy all of the anedotes and insights that made "Lipstick Leadership Week" a smashing success!
I'd like to extend my heartfelt thanks to everyone who sent in stories - they were all truly amazing and inspiring. I only wish I could get to know each of these incredible role models personally!
And it's a great feeling to know that this network of "mother's wisdom" you all helped me create is only the beginning! I can't wait to get started on the next book in the "From the Kitchen to the Corner Office" series - you've proven that there's limitless inspiration out there and plenty of moms and mom figures to draw experiences from!
In the meantime, I've got a lot of other pots full of ideas bubbling on my mental stovetop, and you'll be the first to hear about them here on my blog and through my free eZine "Lipstick Leadership" (Haven't signed up yet? You're missing out on a lot of great info! Sign up here or at LipstickLeadership.com).
"Both of my grandmothers taught in one-room schoolhouses in rural Pennsylvania for many years. I visited those schoolhouses with them in the '50s and '60s and was amazed at how self-sufficient they were. My mother started her own kindergarten - also in Pennsylvania in the '50s - and then taught in an elementary school for another 35 years. The lessons that I learned from them are those of perseverance and determination to finish the job inspite of all obstacles and hardships which you may encounter both at home and in the workplace."
- Kati Machtley, Women's Summit Director, Bryant University
"My mother's courage, strength, resourcefulness and unconditional love shaped my self-image which allowed me to pursue everything and anything I have ever wanted to achieve in my life. Her actions taught me to persevere even in adversity and to believe anything is possible for me. Although she was not born in this country, she has amazed me with her ability to reinvent herself many times over! Not only does she have spirit but it is all grounded with an incredible faith that she has also instilled in me. My mother is my role model...she has led her life with the utmost grace and soul. I have grown to become a resilient woman who has approached all of my work with passion and the belief in my ability to achieve all of my goals. Because of the solid foundation she created for me, I don't hesitate to 'go for it' within my work every day. I'm not afraid to try new things, welcome challenges and have the confidence to plow right through them."
Lipstick Leadership: More Than Words - Corrie Woods' Story!
"The most powerful lessons I learned, and am still learning, from my mother haven't come in words. Not that the countless times she sat me down to share wisdom that helped me to find my way weren't important. They were. Yet the lessons that have lasted the longest and that have become a part of who I am came from watching how my mother shows up in the world. Here are a few examples of what I mean: my mother doesn't believe in complaining, never has. She takes what life hands her and makes the most out of it. My mother shows me that a woman can be tough and strong and have a huge and caring heart. Though I undoubtedly have had my moments of stretching her toleration and patience, I have never doubted she was there for me and my sisters 100%. My mother taught me that when it comes down to it, dropping everything and hopping a plane to take care of a loved one in need is a no-brainer. Most of all, my mother taught me these lessons and so many more which have helped me to be the best mom I can be for my children. That has been the greatest gift of all!"
- Corrie Woods, author of "The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living"
"Brigadier Pat Foote influenced me when I was a 2nd lieutenant and trying to manage everything. She said, 'The sign of a leader is how well their people do when they are not there. Train your people, always tell them the result you want but don't dictate the how...let them surprise you with their ingenuity. Never micromanage. Trust them to do the job, but always check, check, check.' She then 'killed' me in the war games and had my sergeants take over - they did great and I learned to power down."
- E. Adrienne van Dooren, The House That Faux Built
Lipstick Leadership: "Igniting the Spark of Leadership" - Chris Brown's Story!
"My mom was my Brownie leader. She organized the crafts. She volunteered to pick up the patches at the scout shop. She still isn't much of a singer, but she taught us all those special Brownie songs. She helped us recite the Brownie promise at the close of each meeting. She got all of us girls to really believe in ourselves that when we chanted the phrase, "Twist me and turn me and show me the elf, I looked in the water and saw...myself!" When we glanced down at the pine branches laid around the mirror, we really were transformed into someone who can do anything. She gave us the confidence to try new things and make a difference. And over the years, our troop did. We cleaned up the overgrown corner lot in our town, throwing away trash, trimming back all the weeds and planting petunias. We visited the shut-ins in the nursing home. We camped in the woods and cooked on Buddy Burners made of 3 lb. coffee cans and tuna cans with cardboard and wax.
As we grew from Brownies to Juniors to Cadettes, so did our activities. We traveled to the capital. We helped organize events for the younger scouts. We saw plays. We earned badges. We took photos and cemented friendships. We created scavenger hunts for the younger scouts with watermelons as the prize at the end. We learned leadership skills like mentoring, planning, encouraging and collaborating.
My mom volunteered hundreds of hours to the girls in our troop. She taught us leadership by letting us try it on one step at a time. And now, many years later, if you surveyed those dozen girls, you'll find women who have grown up to become leaders in a wide variety of roles including business, government and health care (and scouts, too). And now we are passing it on to the next generation.
Thanks Mom, for igniting the spark of leadership in all of us!
"I learned an important lesson from my Aunt Evelyn, a farm wife. When I was young, I used to think that Evelyn was the most patient person I had ever met. Evelyn was slow to judge and quick to understand. She taught me that you never know what is happening with a person until you ask. This has helped me to forge business relationships that I would otherwise never have considered."
- Julie Viskup, Law Professor at Champlain College
Lipstick Leadership: Accessorizing Your Life with Time for Yourself - Pam Robertson's Story!
"...I credit a good part of my efforts at celebrating myself as a woman to my mom and my grandmother. They both taught me how to step back from work, kids and family issues to take some time just for me, and do it with panache.
Nana had my mom in the midst of World War Two in Britain. Nana is a frugal woman and has lived what many of us would consider a hard life, but through it all - working as a housemaid and later, a hand model only to have to take work as a welder during the war, then moving to Canada with a young child - she could step back and unwind herself. Even if all she had was five minutes, my grandmother would spend some time on something that made her feel good, and often it was as simple as the way she put her lunch plate together. It was as simple as grating cheese on top of her salad and adding a sprig of watercress on the side. It was as elegant as winding her chestnut hair and pinning the curls in a way that crowned her head.
My mom could be going to the shops for a few groceries or simply stepping out to say hello to a neighbor, but even during cancer treatment and with most of her hair gone, Mom always made sure that she looked good when people saw her, and she continues to do so. She'll throw on a beautiful pair of earrings, a necklace, scarf or brooch, something with a bit of style.
When I was a young adult, I thought she was a bit over the top, always reminding me to accessorize, but I realize now that the effort that she made for herself made her feel good, and the energy and enthusiasm for life that she possesses also transfers to others around her and makes other people feel good. That says a lot for the power of a pair of earrings and a scarf, but it's true.
At times when I am really feeling the pressures of work and running a business, family and all the things that come together to make it work, I pause to think of these two women who have had so much influence in my life, and I celebrate a little moment for myself. A cup of tea in my favourite cup, a sprig of parsley on my plate or a piece of jewelry that offers a statement, and I am acknowledging both of these remarkable women. I thank them for the example that they set about the importance of celebrating me and for embracing life with all it has to offer."
Lipstick Leadership: Independent Woman - Christina Lemmey's Story!
"My mother is very independent and led by example that women could do anything we wanted to do. She was a stay-at-home mom and was not a business person, but she took art classes at the community college, and she would travel at least once a year by herself to visit her brothers across the country or her best friend. We didn't have sit-down conversations about all the things I could accomplish, but sometimes seeing a living example is just as powerful as hearing the words. I've heard from many friends how they are surprised I would drive 3 hours with my kids to visit an out-of-state friend by myself. I also decided on my own to start my business and figured out myself what steps I needed to take to learn more from coaches to increase my business.
While I do not consider myself a risk-taker, the independence that I learned from my mother has definitely helped lead me on the right business path."
"As a single mother I learned the value of planning ahead...planning big things. Back in 1976, I decided to celebrate the country's bicentennial with a cross-country (east to west coast and back) road trip with my four-year-old daughter. I invited a girlfriend with a six-year-old to join me. We planned the trip loosely on a small budget, loaded up my Toyota station wagon, and set off for an astonishing adventure. Plan it, do it, enjoy it, learn and remember forever! It's the same thing in business!"
"What I've learned from my four kids - and from the experiences of moms I've interviewed for my book - is the importance of consistency in children's lives. This is especially true when it comes to a mom's job. Whether a mom works part-time or full-time or has been home since her children were born, it's the predictability of the arrangement that makes it work for the kids. Messing with that consistency can be tricky - which is why moving in and out of the workforce must be handled with great care."
- Carol Fishman Cohen, Co-Author of "Back on the Career Track"
"Most everything I learned about work and work ethic, I learned from my father. The most important woman in my life was my grandmother. She taught me many, many things about gardens, animals and birds, and unconditional love - but not about work. On reflection, that probably was the best lesson to learn...work isn't everything."
Lipstick Leadership: "Stand Up!" - Dr. Carole Lieberman's Story!
"My mother taught me to stand up for myself and not be intimidated by rules. For example, as a little girl, I remember being awestruck by how she would persuade big department stores to take back merchandise that their rules said would never happen. Like the designer gown she got a store to take back because there were suddenly cheaper copies of it on the market all over town. This, despite signs warning that they never take back gowns. It may seem like a trivial example, but it taught me not to take 'no' for an answer.
Today, she has the same spunk when it comes to dreaming up audacious marketing strategies for her new children's book, Archibald's Swiss Cheese Mountain. I look at her and am reminded and grateful that she has passed this 'chutzhpah' on to me."
- Dr. Carole Lieberman, Beverly Hills psychiatrist/author/talk show host, www.DrCarole.com
Lipstick Leadership: Home Is All Around Us - Elaine Starling's Story!
"My parents are both college professors. Every Thanksgiving, my parents invited foreign students to join our family for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom would cook a turkey, a goose, tons of stuffing, green beans, homemade biscuits, and multiple pies. We all gathered around a groaning table to celebrate the holiday. My parents made sure there you pens on hand so that each guest could sign the tablecloth - a tradition handed down through my mother's family. They wanted to capture the good will, great memories, and joyful moments shared around that table. My mom hand-embroidered each signature before washing the tablecloth. We still gather around that table and reminisce about the fun we shared with our international friends. Sharing our Thanksgiving meal with others reminded us that, regardless of where we are, home is all around us, uniting us with the shared spirit of collaborative joy."
- Elaine Starling, Promise Power TM, www.PromisePower.com
"My husband's grandmother, 'Nana Vi', redecorated her apartment at age 92! Her sense of optimism was her greatest gift to me. With a book about to be published and an associated business plan in the works, optimism is what has helped me deal with the chellenges along the way. Coming from a family of worriers, I had to learn to be optimistic, and Nana Vi's example was my guide."
- Carol Fishman Cohen, Co-Author of "Back on the Career Track"
"As young girls, my twin sister and I loved to watch our mother dress for a function before she went out with my father. We would behold her beautiful, tall frame perfectly wrapped in any one of her saris from her vast collection. My most sensual childhood memories include my sister and I burying our faces in the safe folds of those perfect pleats, inhaling the scent of Chanel No. 5 permeating the shimmering fabric.
I owe my fashion career to precious afternoons spent with my mother as she unpacked her trunk of saris. Each sari had a story. There were several stories attached to each sari: who bought it for her, who presented it to her, what was the occasion for which it was bought, where she was when she first wore it. The beautiful light turquoise sari with a saffron border her father presented to her the day she immigrated to America was stained by the vermillion her mother wore in a round circle between her eyes as she embraced my mother tightly while she said goodbye. Then there was the white cotton sari with a pale green print that her sisters often borrowed right after she ironed it and starched it. She always knew it had been worn because of the red dusty edges that matched the earth of the town where she grew up. My aunts would always return it to her cupboard, neatly folded with the hope that she wasn't clever enough to notice.
I've always loved how her saris punctuate milestones both mundane and momentous in her lifetime. Add to this the story of the silk. Every time she pulled a sari from her trunk, she would tell us whether it was woven in West Bengal or in Tamil Nadu, in Maharashtra or in Karnataka. Each sari was linked to a particular tradition that had a story, a story that narrated the craftsmandship of our native country, India. The Dhaka silk tradition was nearly eradicated when the British chopped off the thumbs of the Bengali weavers so they would not compete with the colonial silk trade. The Kanchipuram silk, the King of all silks, hails from a glorious temple town where sillk was woven to swathe the gods and goddesses in the most royal of robes. I think my first education of India's geography was told through the artistry of these weavers.
It has always been the story and experience of a person, a work of art, or a place that keeps me riveted and curious. As the child of immigrant parents, retelling the story of India and its artisans is the gossamer thread spinning endlessly through my work. The stories of my mother's saris bring me closer to her joys, pains and discoveries, and are the seeds that sprouted into my own personal and artistic 'discovering' of India, a lifelong process, granting me the fortune of a fulfilling fashion career."
"My mom taught me to try new things and improvise. Mom's acts of daring tended to happen in the kitchen - she'd find a recipe for a bouillabaisse that took five hours and she'd find a way to make it in forty minutes. Or she'd take a fat-laden recipe for chicken and change a few ingredients to make a tasty, simpler and healthier version. She was never afraid to experiment. I'm not as daring as my mother in the kitchen, but I think her confidence shows up in my work as a book coach. I'm comfortable trying new things and applying them to my work for clients. I credit my mom with that ability to take something new and tweak it for my own purposes."
"The best lesson Mom taught me and I have taught many of my girlfriends is you can't get everything you need from just one person. Our spouses do not give us everything we need; they don't want to see chick flicks or try on new clothes. That's why we need girlfriends. I have also applied it where I work. Some people are fun to work with an enhance your day...but may not be best to delegate work to...but they help you keep your sanity in the workplace. Some are great workers and you can count on them to make your job easier. Some are great leaders and role models helping bring direction to the work environment. It takes them all to make your job work."
"My mother taught me to be real - never to lose who I am in the work environment. It has served me well in the past thirty-two years with IBM where, in the beginning, high heels wer an unusual sight. My ability to be authentic has helped me create a career that is rewarding and challenging and suited perfectly to ME!"
- Nancy DeViney, Vice President of Values and Organizational Capacity, IBM
"My daughter taught me how many activities I could cram into one day! A sign in my office states: 'I thought there were only 24 hours in a day until I went into business for myself,' but the truth is that having one's own business AND raising children is what really teaches that lesson."
Lipstick Leadership: Learning to Be Myself - Laura Ries' Story!
"Mom's greatest gift to me was encouraging me to be me. She valued my sister and I for who we are. It was okay if we had interests that were not typical. She was full of life and loved to celebrate. It wasn't until recently that I have applied this gift to my career. I kept a part of me separate when at work. This was in an effort to be 'business-like'. I was able to do my job and very well, but something was missing.
Oh, if I hadn't had the encouragement from mom, I wouldn't have ever tried being me. Now that I have, there is a new dimension to the work environment that enriches all of us."
"My mom taught me how important it is to have girlfriends to support you. She did this socially, but I do this where I work. I seek out older women or women with more experience than me to be my friends and part of my work support system. I do the same for the younger women with less experience in my industry, providing them with support."
"My grandmother taught me that a woman can be powerful by her very presence, even when she's embroidering flowered tablecloths. Although my grandmother didn't have a corner office, she had her corner of the living room from which she exuded as much power as a top CEO!"
- Carole Lieberman, M.D., Beverly Hills psychiatrist/author/talk show host, www.DrCarole.com
My Aunt Jennie is more than just a relative - she's an inspiration who taught me more than just how to make delicious bread during our baking lessons...
"When I was a little girl, my mother told me that women are like an iron fist in a velvet glove...which meant that we don't have to speak loud, shout, or be rude...we just have to be solid and strong on the inside to get things done. My mother, very softly and sweetly, never takes NO for an answer. As a filmmaker, I need a lot of people to help me get a story told. The ability to speak sweetly and appreciately while still getting my ideas across with authority has been an advantage in making films that make a social statement...thank you, Mom!"
"My first boss (a woman) shared a tip with me that has made a huge impact on my life and business: take a notebook and pen with you everywhere and take notes during your conversations. Ideas may spring up later when you review your notes...and it ensures you won't forget anything! Now I am a compulsive note-taker and my clients value my creativity and project management skills - all created via my notes!"
Lipstick Leadership: A Letter to Mom - Melinda Day-Harper
"Dear Mom: I remember waaaay back when I was in my early 30's and fretting about something or another, you patted me on the knee and said, 'Oh, honey, you'll mellow out as you get older.' Ha! This coming from a woman who with a single glance could intimidate the devil himself! I can just hear you laughing out loud right now!
You conducted your life, Mom, with such stature, such presence, and with so much love and grace. I don't know how I could ever begin to come close to the person you were while you were here. I was so proud of you and for you when the Mayor of Fort Worth presented you with the key to the city as Volunteer of the Year for your work with Hospice and as a children's advocate. I know that you were proud, too, but mostly just grateful for the opportunity to be of service again as you always were in your life.
What incredible tragedies you not only survived, but triumphed over! Daddy's murder, your son's tragic death, your own brain tumor, your younger daughter's overdoes and suicide attempts. You sat through the murder trial with the same peace and grace that you've always presented to the world, that you have always had within. When my daughter was born, you told me, 'The two most important things you can teach your child are the Love of God and independence.' Now, I have to say that my ex-husband thought you went a little overboard with me on the independence thing, but it has served me well!
You always told me I could do and be anything I wanted to as long as I stayed close to God. When I had to put you into hospice care yourself in 2005, you looked at me and said, 'This is a wonderful place, honey, don't worry about it. I'm ready to go home.' I am so very grateful, Mom, that God blessed me with you - as my Mom and my prime, supreme example of the woman that God wants me to be. You are forever in my heart and soul. - Melinda"
- Melinda Day-Harper, co-author of "Wake Up Women", entrepreneur, speaker, corporate executive, coach and CEO of T-Zone Consulting, Inc. www.TZoneConsulting.com
"It is very fun for me to balance what my mother has taught me with what you, Michelle, have taught me. In addition to the many business lessons you have taught me, the lesson that stands out the most in my mind is the lesson of bringing play into the workplace. When I painted with you and watched you bake bread, I saw this whole other side of you. This side did not reconcile at first with the passionate, bold business woman and mentor you had become for me. As we dove deeper into the creative process, it became clear that your painting was like my filmmaking...a calling. As I watched you paint and reflect on my business needs, I saw how you used your art playfully to work through abstract problems and fuel your imagination keeping you mentally sharp. Your lesson of play helps inspire me when I get to a place where creatively I need fuel."
Lipstick Leadership: "What Are You Wearing?" - Vicki Flaugher's Story!
"My mom and I have an inside joke about visualizing your success. We both believe that to reach a goal you have to really see it like it's already accomplished and if you do, it will come to you. So, when I would tell my mother about a project I was working on, or a dream I wanted to fulfill as an entrepreneur, she would always ask me, 'What are you wearing?' She would want me to describe my clothes and my hair style and everything that would be happening at the moment I achieved my goal, right down to the color of my dress and lipstick. She'd ask how I am celebrating my victory and who is with me. It's a little game we play and it really helps me to get clear about the end I am seeking. My mom has a great way of helping me see myself as a success. I just ask myself, 'What are you wearing?' and my confidence rises. I have to give her at least partial credit for helping me in that area. Together, we are stronger!"
- Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman, SmartWomanPublishing.com
"My mother's mother, who we called Grandma, always made people feel appreciated - whether it was the painter, the butcher or the meter reader. When I served as Executive Director of a non-profit organization for ten years, I often heard from volunteers about how they felt appreciated in the organization. I wrote frequent thank you notes, celebrated volunteers with an annual potluck dinner, highlighted people's generosity (of time and money) in our newsletters and annual reports, and always made sure they knew how much their contributions meant to the organization. While I probably spent a good part of my time thanking people, in the long run, it supported a very loyal group of volunteers. Thank you, Grandma, for showing me the power of appreciating people."
Lipstick Leadership: Appreciate the Beauty of Art - Barbara Taylor Bradford's Story!
"My mother had a good eye for antiques. Not that we had any, but she loved paintings, furniture and good china. For years she dragged me to country houses like Harewood House in Yorkshire. She would say to me: 'That's a Georgian piece; that's a Constable. You must always keep your eyes open.' She imbued in me a love of beautiful things. And as all of my readers know, the pages of my novels are often filled with detailed descriptions of items just like these."
"Motherhood has taught me to keep things in perspective. When my children were younger and I'd be in the middle of a work crisis, the moment I got home and held one of my children and saw the look in their eyes as they talked to me, the big crisis just became a situation that had to be dealt with rather than an all-consuming problem taking over every single ounce of my energy and thought. My children keep me grounded and balanced. That is a necessary skill in my work - as well as a necessary attitude to possess - always keep things in perspective. Being able to step back from a situation, accurately assess it, weighing out pros and cons, obstacles, challenges and options prior to coming to a conclusion is critical. Having said that, I still struggle with not reacting to the moment but being a mother has taught me to be more patient, open-minded, flexible and wise!!"
Lipstick Leadership: "All I Am I Owe to My Mother": Denise Reed's Story!
"Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." - Abraham Lincoln
"As Abraham Lincoln said, everything I am I owe to my mother. She taught me how to tie my shoes, how to match my clothes, and how to make decorative flowers out of Kleenex. She taught me manners, respect for myself and others, the value of a dollar, and the importance of an education. She gave me driving lessons without yelling, excitedly took me shopping for two prom dresses, and as a child, she even let me roller skate repeatedly in the air conditioned house when it was too hot to go outside. She taught me countless and invaluable lessons in life that have shaped me into the strong, confident woman I am today.
Throughout my life I have heard her recount bits and pieces of her childhood on the small island off of Japan called Okinawa. She ran through dirt-covered streets without shoes (not by choice but by lack of money) and went hungry more often than not. She had difficulty learning English when she arrived in the United States at the young age of 12, and she had an even more difficult time trying to fit in at school. After graduating from high school, she attended beauty school while working in the kitchen of a local hospital. She saved every penny to buy her own car and secured a position at a nearby beauty salon. She later met and married my dad, and they happily celebrated their 40th anniversary in April of this year. Their life together was built on a partnership, both in marriage and business.
Soon after my parents were married, they purchased a catering business and worked the business without employees for over 30 years. This required my mom to cook, clean, run a household and be the best mom a child could ever have. She managed all of these things like an Olympic skater on ice - gracefully.
My mom has worked harder than any woman I know and probably ever will. Her childhood was less than desirable, and she could have easily used that as a crutch to walk through life with an entirely different attitude. Instead, she worked all that much harder to provide me with a life than every child is entitled to. She showered me with love and affection, provided me with opportunities that allowed me to learn and grow, and she taught me that roller skating in the house is wonderful fun.
Thank you, Mom, for being the mother that I am striving to be to my son. I love you!"
"When girlfriends bond, they create the sound of music. When they bond together for a common cause, they create a symphony of unlimited and immeasurable orchestral power."
"As a stepmother, I often struggled to find that fine balance between friend and mom. My stepson has a wonderful mother who is helping him lead a strong, value-filled life. However, I'm a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. I didn't want to just be his friend - I wanted to be a 'co-mom' for him, basically a third-party for him to talk to.
After many years of struggle - taking him to the duck pond, playing football with him, and showing him that I loved him as a son - I sometimes wondered if it was working. That changed one day when I jokingly asked, 'Who's your favorite stepmom?' and he replied, 'You are.' I laughed and said, 'That's because I'm your only stepmom,' and he looked at me for a minute, and then what this 11-year-old said brought tears to my eyes. 'No, Kristie,' he said earnestly. 'Even if you and dad divorced and he remarried, you'd still be my favorite stepmom.'
This story means even more to me today, now that he's a teenager, as his father and I are divorced. I'm still trying to figure out how to be a 'non' stepmom. But the lesson learned here is that you don't have to strive to be liked to be respected and loved. You have to go for what's right. I've applied this to my career as a teacher as well. I don't have to be a child's friend; I have to be his teacher, and I have to be respected by him."
"My mother ingrained in me the importance of a prompt, nicely-written thank you note. This habit, while simple, has served me well in business - mainly because so many people neglect to express their gratitude for things."
- Rochelle Kopp, Managing Principal, Japan Intercultural Consulting
"My mother taught me to 'catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!' I try to remember this when I am about to scream at someone for not doing what I want, when I want it!"
- Carole Lieberman, M.D., Beverly Hills psychiatrist/author/talk show host
"As mothers, we teach by what we do and by what we don't do. Sometimes what we are exposed to propels us toward action, and sometimes what we wish we have propels us. I am the youngest child in a large family and by the time my mother was raising me, she was exhausted from the demands of the five us us as well as my father's illness. As a result, I became very independent and this drive continued through my college years as I balanced working as a waitress (to pay for college) and my full course load. This independence and ambition has helped me success in the corporate marketplace where the ability to work hard and remain focused has served me well. So thanks, Mom, for what you did and what you struggled with. It has all helped me get ahead and become the successful woman that I am today."
- Jane Wolak, Vice President of Retail Product Services, The Hartford Life Insurance Companies
"...my mother taught me to be an effective communicator. She has the ability to gain trust from an initial meeting. My mother is the best at meeting someone and gaining their trust immediately. In a world where sales are everything, trust is a key factor to success, especially for a banker. It makes people take the extra step to doing business with you rather than your competition. [My mother] also has a unique skill of getting people to want to be around her, and [she] can make them smile.... [People] are very open, honest and feel comfortable giving her information about their needs. In business, this translates to knowing enough information about a customer or prospect to figure out products and services to help them. If not for my mom, I would not be where I am today...."
- June Goguen, Vice President of the Commercial Lending Division, Eastern Bank
"I remember when my mother was fifty, she took a class at the local university with a bunch of students in their early twenties. It was a class on ecology, and towards the end, there was field work that involved a day-long hike up a mountain. I remember my mother being nervous about it; I also remember the energy that radiated from her when she got home late that night, having completed the trip successfully.
She said that other students had encouraged her. I don't honestly know whether she fell behind, or by how far, or what it took to get her through that day. But what I do know is that there was a lesson in there about pushing yourself to do things that you want to do and also about being satisfied with your personal best. It is okay to be afraid or nervous about doing something you want to do - as long as you don't let that fear stop you. I draw on that in my own life. And of course, now that I'm close to fifty, I have a better sense of what she was going through. (But isn't 50 the new 30?!)"
- Regina Maruca, Former Harvard Business Review Editor and Co-Author of "The Leadership Legacy"
Lipstick Leadership: Making the Best Decision - Myriam Wead's Story!
"I was born in France. My mother was always fair. Her father had been a prisoner of the Germans in WWII, and she saw him for the first time at age six. There were many siblings. In a small village, many things happen and there are rivalries and misunderstandings, but she always taught us that there was a best decision that could be made in any given set of circumstances. Don't panic. Just make the best decision for the moment."
"I learned from a friend's mom that it is never too late to start afresh or mentally wipe a slate clean and give yourself a new chance to do what you want to do and be who you want to be. This friend's mom battled alcoholism successfully when I was in high school. She emerged as such a strong person and such a role model. Not that she drew attention to herself for accomplishing what she did, but her example - her actions - have reminded me time and again to look forward, and not feel mired in a path suggested by the past."
- Regina Maruca, Former Harvard Business Review Editor and Co-Author of "The Leadership Legacy"
"In my own career in nursing, I was always impressed with those fellow nurses who constantly performed under stressful life-and-death situations. Having been exposed to a variety of such time sensitive situations where many diverse groups of individuals required immediate assistance, I learned the importance of correct and thorough intervention while being sensitive to their needs..."
- Kati Machtley, Women's Summit Director, Bryant University
Lipstick Leadership: "No Matter What" - Ardice Farrow's Story!
"I was six. The youngest and the smallest of all the neighborhood kids and the family of cousins. I was a bit frail, not very athletic. My tiny system was susceptible to any cold, flu, ear, nose or throat infection in the near vicinity and I was treated on a regular basis with high doses of penicillin. Add to that the fact I was the youngest member of an angry, somewhat dysfunctional and highly suppressed family. My emotional anxiety played havoc on a sensitive stomach, and I could be counted on to throw up when the emotional tensions or expectations rose too high.
It was the summer before first grade and inspired by my playful and wonderful adopted 'Aunt Ginka', my family and two other families rented houses at the beach. Southern California beaches are noted for turbulent waves and rapid undertows. At the time, I had an unfounded and exaggerated fear of water, so as the older kids frolicked in the waves, I was more than happy to build sand castles and run down for an occasional bucket of water. But my Aunt Ginka, ever the creative adventurer, was determined to open up my world of experience.
She pulled two old inner tubes down to the water's edge and began to explain in great details the rules of the 'No Matter What' game we were about to play. Rule One - You had to face away from the incoming waves so you had no idea what was coming. Rule Two - You had to hang onto your inner tube 'No Matter What'. For a kid who was terrified by the shallow end of a suburban pool, I was in way over my head. My heart pounded as the water beneath us was sucked away to build a wave of unknown size that would soon be rushing toward us. With each wave, the thrill of the game escalated. We turned upside down, sideways, spun in any direction and yet we held on. With each pending wave, we screamed out to each other, 'No Matter What!'
The impact of my 'Aunt Ginka' did not stop at the end of the summer. Months later, she convinced my mother, who elevated anyone who went to medical school to the level of an omnipotent god, to take me to a different doctor. The new doctor immediately determined that the constant antibiotics had diminished my immune system and I was on a downward health spiral that would never end. He reversed the treatment with heavy doses of iron and a vitamin regiment. Within months, I was as healthy as any child you could imagine.
I don't know if I have ever thought of my Aunt Ginka in this way or realized and acknowledged how her courage and playfulness impacted my life. But I will tell you I am never sick. I am ridiculously healthy and live a life of adventure at every level. I love the ocean more than I can say. It is a ceaseless source of inspiration, peace and play. I have body surfed the most challenging waves on Hawaiian beaches. I have lived on a sailboat, sailed the Pacific, survived wild ocean storms and life-threatening conditions. I have swam with the dolphins, dove tropical waters, explored spectacular deep underwater caves and have never said no to an ocean adventure no matter how challenging. I have hiked exotic jungles and traversed steep mountain trails. I have lived and traveled alone without concern in other countries. And I have taken on huge business and creative adventures, never looking for what is safe but always seeking what might be possible and creating and imagining the unknown.
I have fearlessly sought the wisdom of life and traveled near and far to learn from masters and experts. Unconsciously, I have adopted my Aunt Ginka's philosophy that the simplest things I do can touch another and change someone else's life forever. From Aunt Ginka, I learned that when you stop looking for or trying to make life safe, you can experience the thrill and the wonder of life and call forth the best in you. When you give up being safe, you are instilled with the courage to follow your instinct and intuition and find new solutions to what seem impossible challenges. And you easily step forth to lead and inspire others which is what we are doing with our Wake Up Women publishing group and the Wake Up Women books.
I realize as I write this that thanks to my Aunt Ginka, I live each day with the attitude that life is an adventure, an unpredictable thrill that will surprise and amaze me No Matter What."
"My grandmother had a few choice sayings that nearly half a century later still ring true. One of her favorites was, 'The sooner you get done, you'll be done.' This is particularly true of boring, difficult or unappealing projects. If you can think about how much better you'll feel after you have them out of the way, it makes it a lot easier to jump in and take charge."
"My grandmother was one of the friendliest people you've ever seen. She was curious about others and took an interest in everyone she met. She was well-liked by everyone she came across. She'd be in a long line for the ladies room when we'd go to the ballet, and she'd make a new best friend with the woman in line next to her, sharing some little treat from her 'pocketbook.' She also treated everyone the same whether it was a nurse changing a bedpan or the daughter-in-law of the owner of the Super Bowl Champions.
In business, I've found that kindness, curiosity and just plain being nice go a long way. Taking a genuine interest in the hard-working secretary is as important as being friendly to the boss. Sharing - whether it is a free giveaway that you bring back from a convention for that hard-working secretary or a helpful piece of information for a colleague - is just a good way to go through life. Some people may think it's not 'business-like' to act that way, but actually, it goes a long way and is just plain good business to be well-liked."
"[There is] one thing that stands out in my mind that Mom used to say to us years ago (and still would today given the chance...I find myself using this and passing it on to my kids all the time, too!). You know how you wake up on a cold winter day with a sore throat from the heat and a stuffy nose and just basically feeling rotten? Mom used to always say: "Get up and get moving and you'll feel fine." I would never believe it at that moment because I was sure I was dying from the flu, but sure enough, I'd get up, get in the shower, and by the time I'm driving to work, I feel mostly fine.
Thanks to Mom's advice, I've made it to work more days than not and now I say it to my kids all the time. I sometimes wonder if Mom hadn't said that to me to many years ago on such a regular basis, if as a working person today, would I just give in to my sore throat, call in sick and go back to sleep? My employer should call my mom and thank her! I have a few employees I'd like to give Mom's number to, too!!"
"Because my sister has cerebral palsy, I spent my childhood watching my mother speak up at hospitals, doctors' offices, and various other settings to get the attention or assistance my sister needed. This provided an excellent role model for me to ask for what I need rather than always meekly going along with things."
- Rochelle Kopp, Author of "The Rice-Paper Ceiling"
"My mother taught me many things...mostly in poem form. Here is one of my favorites: 'Wake up early and do your chores. Count your blessings, the rest of the day is yours!' As a financial systems consultant, some of my work is tedious. I prefer the analytical work to the data entry. When I get tasks I dread done first thing in the morning, the rest of my day is easy and enjoyable. Mom is so smart!"
Lipstick Leadership: Evangelist Willa Short - Doug Wead's Story!
Doug Wead is a presidential historian and New York Times bestselling author. He has been an advisor to two presidents and served on senior staff at the White House of George Herbert Walker Bush.
"My grandmother, Willa Short, was an evangelist, a woman preacher in the Pentecostal Holiness tradition. I am only now beginning to understand what she went through. We have this trunk full of old letters and newspaper clippings. A Birmingham newspaper refers to her as the 'first woman preacher to stand in a pulpit in this city.'
The reality is that her husband walked out on her and she had no other way to support her daughter, my mother. I found a letter from my great-grandmother to Willa Short, describing her daughter's Christmas morning. Wow. Sure helps me understand my mother better. She really lost both parents.
In the Depression, an abandoned woman had to survive, and if that meant storming the male-owned pulpit, well, so be it."
"My mom was a single parent, a workaholic mom who worked three jobs to put food on the table for my sister and me. This has given me a boundless well of strength. Whenever I feel like complaining because I am tired due to a long filming schedule, I think of my mom who worked for longer hours for more primal reasons...feeding her daughters. When I feel my weakest, I call my mother to be with me emotionally and spiritually. She has helped shape me into a woman who knows that my opportunities are limitless if I am willing to work hard."
"My grandmother, Sally Hegle, was married in the 1930s. My grandparents had a farm during the Depression and the dust bowl years in the Midwest (North Dakota). When I was young, I thought my grandmother 'just stayed at home.' But she was an entrepreneur - it wasn't obvious to me. She taught me to work hard so you can play hard; to use what you have (including your brain); to save part of what you have, no matter how hard it might seem at the time; and to never give up.
When my grandparents couldn't make a go of the farm because of a serious drought, my grandfather traveled wherever he could to find work, leaving my grandmother behind with a baby, a cow and a dried up farm. My grandmother tied the baby to her chest, put a rope around the cow's neck and walked up and down the ditches on the sides of the road because that was the only green grass around. My grandmother used to chuckle when she told the story because she said it must have been quite a sight.
My grandparents made it through the Depression and were able to keep the farm. After that experience, my grandmother raised chickens, had a huge garden and apple orchard and used to take her eggs and produce into town to sell when my grandfather took the milk to the creamer to sell. She said she never wanted to go hungry again, and she didn't.
My grandmother is ninety-five today and last year successfully underwent knee replacement surgery because she didn't want to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair. I was lucky to have spent many summers with Grandma Sally, who taught me about work, integrity and love."
- Julie Viskup, Law Professor at Champlain College
"I learned confidence. Not just from my mother, but [from] my father as well. My mother did not work outside of the home for much of my life, but she was a certified teacher of Home Economics. She was good at her job, looking after us. If we had a problem at school, she took care of it. When I was denied the chance to take Shop Class, my mother went to the school to talk to the administrators. If my father was needed, they would go together on a second trip. I was a third child - second trips were not required. I took Shop."
- Cynthia Wood, Director of Facilities Maintenance & Engineering, Pfizer - Ann Arbor Campus
"My children taught me that sometimes everyone needs a nap and a snack! I try to remember that when I conduct long program meetins and begin to notice my staff's eyes start to glaze over...time to give them that nap (in the form of a break) and a snack!"
- Mary Wright Benner, Program Director, The Conference Board
"My sister and I were really into Rice Krispies Treats. Mom decided to make some for company that would arrive later in the afternoon. My mom hated to read recipes when she could just figure out how to make a dish on her own. Well, the treats Mom made that day were less than successful so she decided to add more ingredients and turn her concoction into a cake. That wasn't quite right either, so she added some more stuff and made these really thin, strange-looking cookies that were FANTASTIC! Our company arrived and was so impressed that they wanted the recipe, which my sister and I thought was very funny!
In business, you can create some predictability when you follow the recipe, but you can also miss out on intuitive genius. My mom always made fun, interesting, unique and wonderful dishes because she allowed her creativity to guide her; as an entrepreneur...I try to do the same thing!" - Elaine Starling, http://www.promisepower.com/
"My mother, Joyce Mullet Ross, had one particular gift that eclipsed all of her other mothering skills. She allowed me to be whoever I wanted to be. She encouraged it, in fact. She didn't have an preconceived ideas about what I should do or what I should 'be' when I grew up. If I wanted to play the piano, she found me a teacher. If I wanted to play sports and be in the play, she didn't make me choose one or the other. She let my own desire and intuition guide me to make the choices that were best for me. She gave me the space to discover who I am, and as I continue to build my own business I am continually grateful for my mother. She allowed me a wide space in which to create my life. This gave me confidence and a wonderful sense of independence. I honor my mother's lesson by allowing those who work for me to do the job that best suits their talents and personality. I remember to always give them space to shine."
Lipstick Leadership: Setting an Example of Success - Carrie Lauth's Story!
"For many years during my childhood, my mother, in addition to being a full-time stay-at-home mom, was also a leader in Direct Sales. For several years, my family drove a Tupperware van that my mother earned because of her sales and recruiting achievements. Seeing her do something and succeed at something she obviously enjoyed had a real impact on me. I've always had an entrepreneurial streak for as long as I could remember. Now I earn a full-time living on the Internet and am able to raise my 4 children.
Lipstick Leadership: "A Remarkable Woman" - Dawn Prince's Story!
"I always tell people that my mother is the bravest and strongest woman that I know. My mother is a remarkable woman. Ever since I can remember appreciating strength and character, protector and fighter is what comes to mind when I think of my mother. In the West Indies, when most women stayed at home, my mother was a career woman. She has been a nurse since she was 17. I remember her flitting around on that bike of hers in a crispy white nurse outfit with the starched cap that sat high on her woolly hair.
At 28, when I was about six, she left my two brothers and me with my grandmother to start a new life in the United States. At that time, coming from the West Indies, it was unheard of for a single woman to do that. 'Going outside,' as they called it, was a way for my mother to find the means to take care of us. It seems like she has always had a plan for making life better for us: go to the U.S., get a great job and then send for the children. I always tell people what a remarkable woman my mother is. I marvel at the sacrifices my mother made for my sister, my brothers and me.
A few years ago, I found out that my mother used to draw in her younger days, and it saddens me that a hard life took away a means of celebrating her spirit. I marvel at how she stood strong after heartbreaks with love and life and focused on the plan of bringing her kids to a better life. That search for a better life took her from the United States to Canada. A lesser woman would have given up and returned home, but there is something that is fiercely strong and independent about my mother. She refuses to give up. I would see this time and time again over the years: when my father had a debilitating stroke, she took over as his nurse and spent everyday at the hospital while he was in rehabilitation for 3 months - forgiving him for all of his transgressions. From her, I learned commitment and unconditional love.
At 42, when she found that she couldn't support a family on $5.00 an hour, she went back to school to get her Canadian nursing license. When she grew tired of our brief stay in government housing, she moved us to a better neighborhood and eventually into a house. From that I learned about ambition and determination. It must have been hard all of those years, but my mother never let us see that she was worried. Though she struggled to pay the bills, we were never without food. She always used to say, 'I will find a way' and she always did. When we wanted brand name, she firmly said no, and we understood and appreciated what she could give us. From her, I learned to live within my means, as well as gratitude. And despite the financial struggles, my mother's love was constant. There was a lot of love and laughter in our house.
I just wish that I had allowed my mother to love me the way she wanted to. I see it today as she cares for my nephew who lives with her. And I see the love of my childhood - the love I thought I had missed, but it was there all the time. Out of my own inadequacies, I could never fully take it. I think I allowed some of that love in the other day as we said goodbye before I left Canada to return to the United States. My mother was in tears. I squeezed her and said, 'I love you' for the first time in my life. And when she said, 'I love you, too,' - it felt like we'd reached a quiet understanding.
I always tell people that I get my strength, discipline and independence from my mother as I'd seen a lifetime of a woman doing everything for her children and her family and sacrificing herself. These days, she seems to have shrunk--smaller than I remember her. Yet when I think of my mother, I see majestic earth-mother doggedly defining mother-love and absolute strength. I always tell people about my mother, but now it is time for me to tell her how remarkable I think she is."
Entries for "Lipstick Leadership Week" have been pouring in, and soon the wait to share them will be over!
Next week (July 28th - August 1st) I'll be posting the submission stories here on my blog all day, every day. So make sure you bookmark me and keep coming back to read more!
I guarantee you won't be disappointed - the stories are a mix of the funny and the poignant, and all have important lessons that can be incorporated into our professional and personal lives to empower and inspire us.
With "Lipstick Leadership Week" being pushed back to July 28th through August 1st due to an overwhelming response, I have even longer to wait to share the incredible stories I've been receiving! No fair :) This is not a good thing for someone who purposely waits to the very last second to go Christmas shopping because keeping the presents a secret is too much for her!
So I'm going to have to give you another sneak peek before my head explodes! But this is the last one, I swear.
"My Aunt Mary is the most wonderful person I've ever known. If you met her, you'd understand why immediately. Warmth and kindness radiate from her like an aura, and when she smiles (and she always smiles, even through tears) she transfers that warmth on to you. It doesn't matter if you've had the worst day of your life. Just being near her is salve on your psychic wounds. When her husband of nearly 30 years passed away, we gathered around her ready to comfort and guide her through this devastating loss. She ended up being our source of comfort instead.
Growing up, I was always the loner, the black sheep of the family. I was painfully shy, and people - even family members - always seemed to mistake it for being aloof and cold. Not Aunt Mary. She always made the extra effort to draw me out, to sit and chat with me when my cousins excluded me from their play. She was - and still is - forever telling me what a great person I am, and only she can convince me of that.
It's no wonder that she excels at her nursing job. I can't think of anyone more suited to the profession. Every patient of hers is treated like family, and so many have come back to the hospital to give her special thanks for the care she's given them. The health problems she's had in recent years are no match for her quiet strength and perseverance and untouchable positive attitude.
She recently celebrated a milestone birthday, and her children threw her a huge party. When she saw me among the guests, she immediately enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug because she knew how difficult it was for me to be there, and she thanked me several times when I went to leave.
I wish I could say that I am just like Aunt Mary, but I think you have to be born with that kind of beautiful soul. I have adapted the old "WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)" slogan and changed it to "WWAMD (What Would Aunt Mary Do)!" When faced with adversity, I call upon her example and strive to handle it with the grace and strength that I know she would. Thank you, Aunt Mary, for simply being you."
- Erica Oldman
Thank you, Erica!
For more info on how to submit your own stories of the amazing women in your life and the invaluable lessons they've taught you, go to KitchentoCornerOffice.com or you can go here and submit your story right now.
At first I thought, "Good for us. With gas and food prices the way they are, I'm glad we're able to get a little more for less." But when I thought about it further, my heart went out to all of the small businesses out there that are facing empty storefronts as people flock to these discount giants.
What about the small business owners? How can they compete with the "big boys?"
It's a question as old as the first five-and-dime.
At CEOSecretBlueprint.com, I've created a series of free videos that center around revealing the strategy secrets of the "big boys" and I welcome all of you small business owners out there to sign up and check them out for yourself. Remember, I've done my fair share of work with several Fortune 500 companies, and with my birds-eye view into their boardrooms, I've learned a thing or two about a thing or two! As an entrepreneur, I thought it only fair that I should bolster the small businesses around me by sharing those strategies.
So if your business isn't being "stimulated" by the government economic stimulus checks, go to CEOSecretBlueprint.com, check out the videos I've created, and apply the strategies I share to up your game against the business behemoths.
"The Entrepreneur's Starter Kit" - Find out if you have what it takes to start a business, how to name your business (so crucial!) and the pros and cons of partnerships.
"The Entrepreneur's Finance Kit" - *groan* My least favorite part of running a business is the finances, but in this CD set, I try to make it a little easier for you with my tips on hiring a bookkeeper, basic business finance and why it's SO important to the bottom line to write everything down!
"The Entrepreneur's Marketing Kit" - I called on my cadre of experts to share their insights into small business marketing, including Wendy Weiss (the "Queen of Cold Calling"), Michael Port (marketing guru), Andy Wibbels ("Blogging Evangelist"), and Lori O'Brien (Web Solutions, website development expert).
"The Entrepreneur's Office Space Kit" - I can't work in an office that's a disorganized mess or one that stifles my creativity - and you shouldn't either! Learn how to maximize and design your perfect office space with the help of experts Ed Morrow and Natalie Weinstein.
Now I'm going to go back to my tea and prepare for the busy day ahead. I may even find time to stop in a local shop or two and treat myself to something new!
Wow! I'm amazed at all the submissions I've received for "Lipstick Leadership Week" (July 14th through the 18th)! So many women have incredible stories to tell about what they learned from their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters and even their daughters. I can't wait to share all of them with you!!
In fact, since I've always been one to give gifts early because I'm so excited for people to open and enjoy them right away, here's a little sneak peek at one of those fantastic stories:
"My mother is Wonder Woman minus the invisible plane and the indestructible bracelets (though I still believe to this day that she had some sort of Lasso of Truth since she always knew if I was fibbing!). She has the strongest work ethic I've ever known, getting up every day and going to a job that pays the bills but doesn't offer her much by way of satisfaction. Even after long days spent on her feet, she always managed to have dinner on the table and time to spend with my brother and I. She's taught me valuable skills, like how to cook, and silly hobbies like how to crochet (although I never got past the scarf-making stage!). Thanks, Mom, for teaching me the best lesson of all: how to be a wonderful person, friend and mother."
- Cierra LaPlante
Thanks, Cierra, for this wonderful story!
So, readers, have you thanked your mother (or mother figure) today? If not, there's still time to submit a story of your own right here. What a great way to say "thanks" to the women in your life who've helped make you the phenom that you are today!
The week of July 14th through July 18th, 2008 is Lipstick Leadership Week at KitchentotheCornerOffice.com! That means we want to hear YOUR stories about how your mother changed your life and made you into a successful career woman.
What lessons did your mother teach you that turned you into a leader? Did a Sunday afternoon of baking turn into an opportunity for responsibility? Did a Thanksgiving meal become a metaphor for organizational structure? Tell your story in writing or request to send an audio or video. To contribute, just submit your story to me here. You can read your submission and others' right here on my blog during Lipstick Leadership Week!
My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership, chronicles the lessons I've learned from my own amazing mother and other female role models. I'll be sharing those stories - and the stories of women I've interviewed for this book - during Lipstick Leadership Week - and I invite you to join me in this celebration of maternal wonders!
Just another quick note because I'm on my way to Colorado. Mark Victor Hansen and his Mega Inner Circle group are convening in Colorado for an immersive conference, and I'm so excited to be a part of it. Mark's Immersives are always chock full of interesting people, amazing insights and inspiration, and more valuable information than I can fill a notebook with! I'll be out of town for a few days, but when I return, I'll be sure to give you the highlights.
Here's hoping the temps in Colorado are far below the near 100 degrees the East Coast is facing today!
Exciting news, my friends! The long-awaited and highly-acclaimed new info publishing and sharing site YouPublish.com from Mark Victor Hansen (of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame) is now LIVE!
YouPublish.com is an amazing site where users can publish and download all kinds of files: books, music, videos, software, photos, documents - pretty much any type of file you can think of! Some are free; some have costs associated with them, and ALL are worth a look around the site.
As you know, I offer a wide array of audio CD sets on the SHOP page of my website MichelleYDrake.com. YouPublish.com gave me the chance to offer similar products - audio and article bundles, video series, and even separate chapters of my new book "From the Kitchen to the Corner Office" - all at affordable prices. I welcome you to check them out at: YouPublish.com/MichelleYozzoDrake! I've even included a few FREE products to give you a taste of what's available in my product line.
Be sure to check out this fantastic site and have fun exploring!
With Mother's Day being celebrated a few short days from now (hint, hint to those who've forgotten!) and all eyes on the primaries and election in November, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to marry the two topics and discuss how the candidates' mothers have influenced who they are and what they bring to the table.
Mom's influence has helped to shape all of us into the people we are, and to get a feel for our Presidential candidates, let's take a look at who their mothers are, starting with Hillary Clinton. Hillary's mother, Dorothy, really taught her daughter to fight back. I remember reading a story about how at the age of four, Hillary was being picked on by some of the neighborhood girls. When she went crying to her mother, Dorothy told her to stand up for herself and that there was no room in their house for cowards. Empowering advice for all of our daughters!
This experience explains a lot about Hillary and the image she often projects in public. She's come out fighting with both gloves swinging and has taken what is traditionally a masculine stance on many of the issues. With all of the adversity and attacks Hillary's faced, the influence of her mother and being taught to be a fighter is very clear in how she's been handling herself.
But is this image of her as a fighter costing her votes among the female population?
Possibly. My personal opinion is that being a fighter is a positive image to be projecting; however, it cannot be at the expense of the unique compassion and softness we as women bring to what we do, whether in the workplace or with our families. To really connect with all the voters, Hillary needs to balance being a strong fighter with being a compassionate woman and mother so that she can relate to both men and women. So far she's had a difficult time reconciling those two sides of her personality.
I find it interesting that when she broke down a bit and cried in New Hampshire, she won by so many more votes than they had predicted. It wasn't sympathy that drove people to vote for her; it was that suddenly she was much more relatable. People who were very familiar with seeing her as a fighter were given a glimpse into this whole other side of her as a person, and they connected with that. Sometimes always being on guard for a fight can alienate people; to truly reach out to people, Hillary needs to temper that with her own natural female instincts and traits.
I've been hearing a lot of people grumbling about Hillary still being in the race and how she should drop out for the good of the Democratic Party so that it can be united come election time. Well, all I have to say to that is: I'd bet good money that if Hillary was a man in the running, those same people would be commending her for sticking with it to the very end and not giving up. I've seen the same type of situation happen in the workplace, the old "double standard", and with such a huge opportunity at stake, I commend Hillary for giving it all she's got to the very end.
Having a job that you find joyful is a blessing beyond belief. Understanding how to find that joy in a challenging work environment is a different story. The ability to blend productivity with a positive environment is a skill that has a large payoff for a manager and a mom. My mother Mimi always taught me that life is a game and no matter how many responsibilities and obstacles we face, we mustn't forget to have a little fun, too! By taking this lesson and applying it in the workplace, I've found that I've been able to challenge my team to work harder but do it in a way that's joyful.
Many times as we are promoted or change jobs, we inherit teams that need some life pumped into them. As a kindergarten teacher, my mother Mimi had this same challenge each year when she welcomed a new crop of students into her classroom. She took her "have fun" approach from home - exhibited by the games she designed for me and my siblings to play - and applied it to her work in the classroom.
I know this playful purpose is as applicable in the business world as it was in my home and in Mimi's classroom. I've seen many corporate activities that have taken a page from Mimi's fun and positive approach produce amazing results in productivity for the workplace.
Why I wrote My New Book From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership
In a radio interview a couple years ago I was asked who my mentors were...I had to stop and think. When I started out there were only a few women in the workplace in leadership roles...but the first person that popped into my mind was my Mom! Mom was a nursery school teacher, hardly the typical role model for a young cosmopolitan business woman.
After the interview I dug a little deeper to understand why she popped into my mind...and the conclusion I came to was that she had been leading my family with faith, finesse, composure, compassion, and sometimes an iron fist. Then I looked further back in time and relations and found a wealth of "mom" figures to draw from. What perfect mentors for me to follow as I tried to become the leader I was born to be...the first flicker of my book, From the Kitchen to the corner Office, had begun.
Just wanted to check in with everyone! I'm currently on my way to Los Angeles for the "Mega Speak" conference created by Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books.
I'm really looking forward to this event - it's a chance for professional speakers from around the world to come together, hone our craft and network, network, network. Mega thanks to Mark and his incredible team for developing this opportunity!
In other excellent news, I want to share with you the latest updates on my upcoming book:
THE MANUSCRIPT IS FINISHED AND IN THE PUBLISHING PROCESS AS WE SPEAK!!
(Sorry for the caps, but I just can't contain my excitement!)
Last week, we put the finishing touches on the manuscript, including a wonderful foreword written by Mark Victor Hansen himself. I'm currently working with Morgan James Publishing to finalize the production of the book titled "From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership."
The long journey from concept to holding the book in my hand is nearly complete; it will be available in bookstores by Mother's Day. Check back for more details!
Sometimes you find friends in the most unlikely of places. That's the conclusion Shalini and I came to the other day on the phone. It was funny to think about my relationship with her and how she never thought that she would be friends with someone who lives in Connecticut, runs a company and has a family!
Ain't life funny! But, there is power in unlikely friendships like ours.
"I think my most powerful relationships have been making allies with people who are unlikely friends," Shalini says. "Who else makes us think out of our box? Befriending someone that has different views is an opportunity for us to move to some greater understanding because we all share some common values; it's just that we have different approaches."
So today, let's get out of our comfort zones and make a new friend today!
***** For FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
As Shalini's mentor, I get to chat with her about both business and pleasure. During one of our recent sessions, we finished up with the business talk and moved onto the fun stuff.
As someone who creates films that are so inspirational, I was intrigued as to what films SHE draws inspiration from.
"I love movies about someone who discovers their calling. I like films like Whale Rider, The Matrix or Star Wars: The First Trilogy, because they're about someone who comes to care and comes to realize who they really are... and I think that’s really powerful," Shalini explained. "I’m really excited about this new trend of socially conscious films in Hollywood, films like The Constant Gardener, Syriana or Good Night and Good Luck, which really help us examine the world in a new way.
I also like films like Children of Men because they create this haunting future, and I love the near future as a time period and when filmmakers depict a frightening, terrifying world that we’re heading towards unless we change our ways."
Shalini's own film A Drop of Life is set in the near future and is the story of two women whose disparate lives intersect when they are both confronted with lack of access to clean water. Maybe filmmakers like Shalini will provide the world with the wakeup call we need to make serious changes and preserve our planet, ourselves and our way of life.
***** For FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
I am sitting in my living room, getting ready to watch a young woman whom I have mentored for the past 2 years take the first step toward realizing her dream of directing feature films with a social message.
When Shalini Kantayya first told me that she was thinking about submitting her film to a new reality show called "On the Lot" - launched by Steven Spielberg, Mark Burnett and DreamWorks - I asked her: "What is there to think about? Just do it!"
Don't you know...SHE DID!!!
When I first met Shalini Kantayya, she was screening her film A Drop of Lifeat a women's leadership retreat in Texas. Utne Magazine sponsored Shalini's film screening at their Revolutionary Women Retreat in Austin, TX. Kathy LeMay (CEO of Raising Change) and I met Shalini for all of three minutes at that retreat, and we immediately knew that there was something special about Shalini and her work. We knew that we could really help Shalini get her message out there on a very large scale.
I began mentoring Shalini within a few weeks of the retreat. When Shalini asked Kathy and I to sit on the Board of Directors for 7th Empire Media - Shalini's production company - we were both happy to be a part of Shalini's dream. Over the past few years, I have become very close to this amazing young filmmaker. I am happy to share some of what I know about Shalini and her favorite causes with you through my new blog "Our Voices in Media."
Oh! "On the Lot" is about to begin! Guess I'll write while I watch!
As a social activist, Shalini had to pitch A Drop of Lifeto potential funders to get her message out. What a great first challenge to highlight her poise and passion! How wonderful that her pitch was about a struggling priest! Her spirituality is a strong part of who she is. She and I have had many long conversations about the role of religion and spirituality in our lives. I am not surprised that she made it over that hurdle.
24 hours to put a short film together...quite a challenge, especially among strangers and fierce competitors! I guess we'll have to wait until Thursday at 9:30 p.m. to see the outcome of that challenge!
As Shalini opened the show, my wish for Shalini is: "May The Force be with you!" I hope you feel all of the people sending positive thoughts out to you!
Want a sneak peek at who Shalini Kantayya is and what she stands for? I'll be sharing moments from my interviews with Shalini for my upcoming book and will be interviewing many of Shalini's friends to get their favorite Shalini stories on my "Our Voices in Media" blog.
Support Shalini Kantayya: the woman who represents...
On Spielberg's Reality Show--ON THE LOT-- A Drop of Life is a MUST SEE!
I have been working with an amazing young filmmaker, Shalini Kantayya of 7th Empire Media, for the past year and a half...coaching and mentoring her. She has submitted a film to a new reality show concept--On The Lot--that is selecting contestants for a spring airing.
From Mark Burnett, Steven Spielberg and DreamWorks Television, ON THE LOT affords aspiring filmmakers the opportunity of a lifetime: a $1-million DreamWorks development deal. Over the season, the 16 filmmakers will produce short films in every genre every week and the viewers will vote on who gets eliminated. The show will premiere with a one-hour auditions episode on Wednesday, May 16.
Shalini's work is amazing and her rating for her first submitted work is 4 1/2 stars out of 5. Check out her film and give your 2 cents at the link below...
In every tragic moment we have an opportunity to learn more about who we are and what we are capable of in our life. When you are at a point that is vulnerable you are also at your most authentic. If there is a positive that can come from tragedy it is the opportunity to meet yourself.
I make this statement from a point of experience. The knowledge that I can overcome fear has served me well throughout my life. I learned at an early age that I am able to manage my fear and press forward with confidence...even when I am shaking in my boots! What a blessing that awareness has been for me.
If you want to develop the ablilty to manage your fear here is what has worked for me (and hundreds of clients I work with!)
***** For more FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
I am in the middle of another major transition in my life. I have a choice on how I will handle it. I can make the transition easier for myself and others around me or I can make it miserable.
Being prepared to roll with change is a requirement to a fulfilled life...and it is just plain smart!
We droppped my oldest son at college and as a mom I am facing a redefinition of my role, in another year my youngest son leaves for school...making me an empty nester...it does not seem possible, but I am there. What will that mean to my parenting style, my marraige, my self image and my work?
Here is peek into the experiences of the past week and what I am taking out of them.
I have been on the road for almost a week, delivering my oldest son Michael to college 22 hours away from my home. The beginning of this journey was an emotional one. The first day we were in the car for 15 hours. 15 hours of thinking can bring up a lot of old stuff. Things I wished I had taken more time to enjoy with my kids, things I wished I had taken pictures of, and things that I am joyful that I chose. I felt like the foundation of my world was being shaken.
Will he miss me? Will he be safe? Will I ever be a part of his life again? How do I let him know I love him without smothering him? Can I let go enough to let him fly? Can I hold on enough to keep him close to our family?
Change often brings questions that center around fear. I have always enjoyed change and am trying to keep an open mind about it now. In the closing meeting for parents at the orientation there were many Moms struggling. One, clearly in distress, asked the speaker a question...
How do we say good-bye?
I felt compelled to raise my hand and comment...I told her...
We don't have to say good-bye.
We should take this opportunity to tell our children that we are proud of who they are.
That we will always believe in them and their ability to achieve whatever they put their mind to.
I went over week without hearing from my son, after I left Florida Tech...it was a lesson in patience and trust. Intellectually, I know that it means that my husband and I did a good job in nurturing a confident and well-adjusted child. Emotionally, I wondered all of the questions above.
I got a call last night, yes, from Michael.
2 hours later, after hearing all of the cool stuff that he is doing... I went to bed happy that I gave him his space and content that he chose to share it.
The amazing thing about abstract painting is that you get to express who you are and how you feel. The ability to use art as therapy is something that I have been exploring with Michelle Bellici. We will be writing an article for Aspire Magazine next month on Art Therapy and how it can free you.
My painting in the past has been of beach scenes and children (mostly mine). A way to express my joy and relax a little. This past year my art has evolved (as I have) demonstrating the complexities of Michelle Yozzo Drake as a woman. This ability to express myself visually has translated into a higher quality of creative expression in my speeches and writing. Once you open the valve...it is amazing what can come out!
These paintings are the first 2 abstract paintings that I did painting with my fingers and feeling the materials to express my emotions. The painting to the left is Angel ($2500) and the one to the right is water depth ($1900). They were completed earlier this year.
Sorry to have been so out of touch. I have missed you all! I have been on vacation on Block Island where internet access is limited to the library...and the beach was calling me.
I have been keeping my creative juices flowing by painting over the vacation. My talented friend Michelle Bellici has been working with me on techniques that focus on painting what I am feeling and doing it with my hands. I had never worked like this so it was a bit scary at first...then completely freeing! I have been cranking paintings out like crazy. Tomorrow I will post some of the work I completed over the holiday. I finished 3 abstract paintings in my storm series, 1 deep water, 1 angel and 3 in my waves series. All very different in style but using the same technique. I guess I am complicated on the inside!
When I was growing up, my family alternated who hosted the holiday meal between my parents home on Long Island and my Aunt Marie's in Connecticut. The meal consisted of a traditional 7 course Italian feast and to say it was a lot of work is an understatement. In total there were 16 people in attendance and my mom and aunt would start cooking weeks ahead of time.
Upon arriving at Aunt Marie's house you were assaulted by heavenly smells that reflected generations of cooking and recipes that had been passed down through the amazing women in my family. The immediate instinct was to run (not walk) to the kitchen to hope for a sampling of something...anything. This urge was always brought to a screeching halt if Aunt Marie was standing in the kitchen.
Aunt Marie would hold up her hand to stop us from moving and tell us "Do not talk to me yet...stay out of the kitchen until I am ready" Once she had her head wrapped around the intricate orchestration of getting all the food out at the proper time at the proper temperature...we would be invited into the kitchen to take part in the preparation and sneak a bite or two. I have such fond memories of her kitchen...but only after I was invited in by my aunt...the cook.
This lesson of patience, respect and clear communication has stayed with me all these years. As with many other lessons I learned from my mother, aunts and grandmothers, I have applied this simple truth in the work place with tremendous success. When offering to help an employee or coworker with a project at work I remember to wait until the cook invites me in. It has saved not only many relationships but has produced some beautiful "meals" at work.
Read more inspirational stories like this one in my upcoming book:
My 17 year-old son Kevin lost one of his best friends, Nick Girard, a year ago today. I took Kevin out to lunch today to offer him my support as I lost 2 dear friends at a young age and understand the profound impact that loss has. We had an interesting conversation about how Nick influenced who he is today versus who he might be if Nick was not gone.
We spoke about the values that Nick held, tolerance for the underdog, a positive attitude and zest for life. A warm nature and a fun-loving approach...he ALWAYS had a smile on. Kevin shared with me that sometimes, now, when he might loose patience or begin to focus too much on what he wants, he remembers Nick and how selfless and caring he was. Kevin adjusts his approach to how he sees the world and the actions he chooses to take as a result of Nick's influence.
It does not take a long time to create a positive change in people, Nick was not here long...But there are many Stonington High School students that he has shaped dramatically for the better. And for that I say a prayer of gratitude for Nick Girard and the gift he has given my son just by being his friend.
I encourage you to reflect upon who has influenced your life...then take an action to thank them for just being themself and sharing it with you.
The self-discovery process is sometimes brutally honest and sometimes honestly beautiful. To the beauty in life.
Are you hard on yourself? Can you tell people the things that you are GREAT at? Do you KNOW the things you are good...no great at?
I have 3 sisters and a brother. My brother Peter Yozzo, was a Division I NCAA wrestling champion for Lehigh College. He competed in Japan, at Madison Square Garden and trained for the Olympics until a knee injury took him out.
My parents would say he was a good wrestler. This tactic of modesty worked very nicely in developing Peter into a very humble man. However, it did skew my perception of "good" and "great".
You see I never won a national championship at anything...so if Peter who actually did win a national championship was "good" at wrestling...then I must not be "good" at anything...and certianly not "great" at anything. The reality was that Peter was a great wrestler(I can almost see him cringe at my stating that so bluntly). It is a proven fact and although it has taken me a large portion of my adult life to discover...I am great at stuff too!
I am a great strategic analyst and a great speaker. It is not arrogance to identify what you are great at, it is just honest.
I can also tell you that I am not so great at shifting gears from CEO of a corporation to mom. It takes some time for me to re-enter either role once I am emerged. I am also pretty bad, actually, at sticking with an exercise routine.
Those are just a few things I know about myself.
So don't be shy about who you are or what gifts you have to share with the world...If you don't know what you are great at...just ask someone who loves or respects you. Once you know, practice saying it out loud...be the confident person you were born to be.
You know that to get a job you need a resume...but to find a job you love, you need more. One of the tools that I use when I work with clients to help them find work that will make them actually get up in the morning is the Life-Line.
The Life-Line is a document that helps you define who you are, what you like and what your talents are... based on your real life experiences, your defining moments large and small.
Here is the process that I use with my clients (I hope it helps you!):
I start by having you create a timeline of moments from your earliest memory...Things that either made you step back in wonder, learn something new about yourself, trigger a change of action, energize you, or shift your emotion or way of thinking.
Once I have that info we start to discuss trends and dig deep into what this string of events means and how it helps define the direction you are heading in the world.
After our initial discussion I will challenge you to contact people from the past and get other perspectives on these moments. Sometimes it sheds an interesting light on who you are and how you got to this point of questioning.
This exercise helps to aid in the self-discovery process and gives you information on your talents, aptitude and desires. Couple this information with your resume and you begin to have tools to use in guiding your life to your most powerful place.
Now come out of your quiet... Step into action... Take back your life and job!
Know you do NOT have to do this ALONE!
***** For more FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
This weekend I made a last minute decision to head home to Long Island to see my parents. Although it was quite busy at the office, I raced to the catch the ferry from Connecticut to Long Island in an effort to keep my life balanced.
Ironically, as I was jumping out of the car to dash in and get my ticket, I landed on an obstacle...cement in nature...and yes, lost my balance and WIPED OUT. Bloody and bruised I limped onto the ferry and had an hour to contemplate what had just happened.
Did I fall because I was feeling guilty about leaving my team?
Is a person ever completely disengaged from their work?
Did this fall indicate a need to slow down in general in my life?
Was it a warning?
Or did I just stop paying attention for a split second and land on my...?
I find that when I try to force that work/life balance it blows up in my face. When I try to integrate some quiet, recharge time into my daily routine it works better for me. I can pass my paints and canvas and paint for 20 minutes and feel recharged. I can close my eyes for 10 minutes and feel rested.
For each of us it is different.
Michelle Bellici, an artist friend of mine, needs hours of complete submersion in her studio painting on a daily basis to feel centered.
My husband needs a full day in the garage to help him to turn off the noise of the work-week.
A high-powered executive client tends to the vines in his vineyard and creates new blends of wines to balance the demands from his job.
My oldest son sometimes needs to drive his motorcycle to calm his nerves if he is having a bad day.
My youngest son likes to surf in the morning before class to keep his mind sharp and his soul fueled.
This past Tuesday my oldest son Michael graduated from High School. There were few dry-eyed parents in the crowd. As the evening progressed I found myself listening to the speakers and thinking...who are they talking to? And why are we really crying? Is it for the end of those students childhood or is it for our own missed opportunities as we reflect on the years since we sat in those graduation seats?
The graduates were being encouraged to go out and discover who they are and what they want to do with their lives...most of these kids know that they need to figure this out and are very passionate about what they are about to go discover.
I think that about 80% of the parents, friends and families sitting facing the graduates are who that message is better suited to.
The question to the graduates...
What do you love and how will pursuing that shape your life?
turns into this question for the adults in the audience...
Do you love what you do? How have your career choices shaped your self-image, your quality of life and your family life? (if you think your kids don't know you are miserable at your job...you are kidding yourself!) What am I modeling for my children?
If we as parents get better at living our authentic life, we can help our kids go out into the world ready to explore all of the options they have with a fearless approach that can only translate into success, no matter how you define it.
So as you help your child with their life choices...be brave with your own!
I just met with a very unusual woman last week. She agreed to be interviewed for my book...Thanks for the Bonus...I Quit!
She is an Interfaith Reverend who is trying to find her own way. Admittedly, she does not fall into a clean category for leaving a paying job to find a new one that is more fulfilling...but her story is one that I think many of my readers will relate to.
Her job, by way of programming from society and her family, was a typical 50's housewife. She was to have no career of her own, and support her man and family in anyway that they needed.
The job which she left was her marriage...her bonus was alimony...and now that her children are just about grown, she needs an income. Toward the end of her marriage she started to take random classes in spiritual practices...She found she had a natural talent for these practices and for inspiring people to also explore. She found her quiet in exploration and found her passion in helping others in her community learn to explore. As her "job" was ending...she trained for her next career...and an Interfaith Reverend was born.
Be open to learning about who you are and the talents that may lie dormant in you!
Bridging the Gap Between a Non-Profit and Entrepreneurial Mindset
This past week I was at a reception for an organization called Raising Change. Raising change produces products and services that help non-profit organizations raise funding (change) for social change initiatives. Also attending this reception was Debi. Harris....from the Women's Funding Network.
We spoke about ideas for small businesses to partner with non-profits to help advance causes that the business owners feel passionate about and link non-profit organizations with the lifeline of our communities...small business owners. These alliances help small businesses project who the business is to the communities they serve.
I would like to challenge you to think about what you stand for in the local and global community and find ways to support organizations that are working those causes. You will feel more fulfilled and if you are a business owner...you will prosper for putting goodwill out into the world!
When I was in college I had a class that I took...
ROTC01-Leadership
I did not know what ROTC stood for as an 18 year-old. I found out soon after I enrolled in this class...I was expecting the study of important leaders in history...what I got was running, shooting guns, and obstacle courses...the last straw was that the final exam was jumping off the science building on my college campus...my fear of heights had me in a total panic. The final was the determining factor for an A or an F in the class. Failing was not an option.
I have to confess that I tried every trick in the book...as the only female in the class I tried pleading, crying, playing sick and threatening passing out...The Captain who taught the class did not buy any of it and talked me through jumping off that building. It was a defining moment for me...
I felt power surging through my veins as I stood on the ground at the bottom of the building that I had just leapt (ok, well was practically pushed) off. It seemed to me that light and energy was shooting out of my finger tips and that I knew I could accomplish anything that I set my mind on.
The same degree of fear that I felt manifested itself into a powerful belief and a bold voice. It is not that I was never afraid again...It is just that I have the most powerful belief that I can get past any fear, because I jumped. Confronting that fear gave me the tools to handle other more traumatic events that life had in store for me. I use jumping off that building as a measuring stick for what I can get through...Life has had some very large hurdles for me to get over ( violence, death, illness) ...but hell, I jumped off a building...I can handle anything! Thanks Captain!
My challenge for you this week is to search out a fear and confront it...what you get on the other side is a powerful voice that believes in all the possibilities that life has to offer.
I recently was filmed while taking my morning meditation walk by a film crew for Hallmark TV's New Morning show.
It was an interesting exercise for me.
I live my life in front of others as a public speaker. My morning meditation has always been a personal time of reflection and revving up for the day. In some ways sharing it has been freeing...although it has not aired yet...
It will air on Monday July 3rd at 7 am on the Hallmark channel.
I feel as though a more complete picture of who I am is floating around in the universe. My role as CEO of The Cove Group, Inc. defines and validates me in so many ways but is limited to who I am in a business environment. I feel truly blessed to be working a job that has me filled with energy for the day's challenges. I know I have many layers and perspectives to who I am...business woman, wife, mother, friend, artist...the list is endless...as are my possibilites for growth.
I hope that this segment on New Morning will help you find the quiet time to reflect and fuel yourself as you seek your most passionate work! The focus of the show is on listening...my morning meditation walk is focused on listening to the universe and my heart.
As I explore developing my talents...remember that sometimes the answers lie in the quiet of the morning...when it is harder to hide from our own powerful voice!
Every interaction, reflection, observation...physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual...contributes to the mosaic of who we are.
We choose to put ourselves into some situations, but have no choice in others. We are shaped by both.
We may not be able to always control our environment but we can control our reaction to that environment.
This week what will you control? Watch what I have to say about becoming a leader here and here.
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To the by-stander it may not have been apparent. The chore they loved best was washing the windows and front door glass.
They had an interesting technique, they would spit on the glass and then take their little hands and smear the liquid around...Just like mommy and the cleaning spray and cloth.
They were always so proud and enthusiatic about their work. I have to admit that I encouraged them to "help" me. So I brought my double-time workload on myself.
There are many people who "help" in our lives the same way the boys "helped" me.
It might be
a well-intentioned mother who consoles an over-weight child with homemade cookies
a bitter friend who "bashes" your spouse when they perceive you have been wronged
a negative relative who always feels compelled to tell you why your idea or dream can't work
While these "helping" actions are usually not meant to do you harm...They create more work for us in our lives.
We all need to be more aware of how to best respond to these well-intentioned sabatours. Carefully protecting ourselves, our relationships and our creative ideas so we are not manipulated by someone else's perspective of life.
Ask yourself...
Is this feedback, response, action really helping me move closer to my joyful life?
Well, is it?
Read more inspirational stories like this one in my upcoming book
For more FREE tips on advancing your career and navigating the workplace, sign up for my FREE e-zine "Lipstick Leadership" at LipstickLeadership.com today! And check out the products I've developed to guide you toward the success you deserve!
As I have been preparing all of my family's favorite dishes for Easter I noticed something remarkable...
I can smell my quiet voice...And the nurturing voices of the women of my past.
Does that sound a bit, well, woo-woo? Well, have you ever smelled something and been transported to a very vivid memory? That is what I am talking about.
For me the quiet of cooking evokes smells of my childhood...Different dishes trigger different feelings and voices.
Bread, Wedding Soup, Pizza Roustica, Pizzelles, Honey Balls and Bow Ties...Evoke the voices of My Mother, Aunt Marie, Nana and My Aunt Jennie.
The smell of bread baking...
the rhythm of kneading the bread...
the smooth texture as it begins to become what it was born to become...
I am the bread and the baker!
I hear my Aunt Jennie (she died a few years ago at 96 years old) a little powerhouse of a woman who taught me lessons on being faith-filled, disciplined, giving and generous, direct in speaking my mind and how to bake bread. All these lessons came with a special twinkle in her eye...She was fresh and playful right to the end.
Aunt Jennie called me Michealina and made me "earn" the bread recipe...Leaving a few steps out each time... I would try to make the bread like hers, and when it did not come out "nice, nice" I would call her for help and she would give me another trick...Eventually I earned the full deal and am now charged with passing the recipe down so that both it and Aunt Jennie lives forever.
At the holidays I bake 10 pounds of flour...The smell is in the house all day long...About 10 loaves get baked. I spend time with Aunt Jennie and myself as I cook.
Work keeps me on a very fast pace...
This special kind of quiet time keeps me connected to the women and traditions of my people...
Which ultimately keeps me connected to my best self.
I encourage you to inhale, smell your quiet and rediscover yourself!
Read more inspirational stories like this one in my upcoming book
After discussing my husbands response to what does he get out of all that time in the garage...the logical next question for me was...
How do you FEEL when you are there?
He was quite cooperative in continuing the conversation, and responded...
"How do I feel? It's not something I have really thought about until now--so I suppose a surprise is in order.
The one word I could use is focused.
I know that may sound odd, but that's what it is. Perhaps it's because the focused attention tends to keep out the stress we are under...business, kids college search and funding, home repairs, you know...life. That probably explains why I don't always welcome interruptions.
I also think the draw is especially strong during the winter--in the summer, we have other activities (trips to the beach, crew, baseball, golf...etc) to look forward to during the week.
Not that I don't enjoy the work we are doing with Cove Group (our business http://covegroup.com ) but in the end it is work.
Building a car never seems like work.
So does working on my cars give me a happier life?
Having a temporary escape from troubles is what makes my time in the garage help provide a happier life.
I don't chase other women... I dont take drugs... I don't drink excessively.
Working on the car is a positive escape that doesn't hurt anyone. Without that, especially in the winter, I'm afraid I would have too much idle time...
too much TV... too much surfing the net... too little motivation...
I love our time together, but you have to admit, after working together all week a little separation isn't a bad thing.
As for getting through difficult times with you or the boys...
It doesn't work that way.
For example, if we have argued and I leave for the garage, I am not in the mindset to create.
My best hours in the garage are when I know I am not taking something away from anyone...allowing me to give myself this gift freely"
For me, that means lots of sports and car talk at the dinner table with my husband and 17 and 18 year-old sons.
So it only seemed logical in my quest for understanding what quiet time brings to people that I would ask my husband, who spends a lot of time on the weekend in the garage.
Here is part of his response to the question...
What about being in that garage all alone is so special to you?
"Surprisingly, it is difficult to pinpoint exactly why being in my garage, building or rebuilding cars, is one of my special times and places.
It was apparent very early that I have a natural mechanical aptitude. I can--and have-- built or fixed just about everything. There is always a tremendous satisfaction in making something new or making something old better.
However, most of my ability has been required out of necessity:
Fix the car or we have no transportation
Rebuild a generator because my income required it
Repair the house so the family will have shelter
Building a car is not required. I can do it at my own pace, in my own way and in the end, have something to be proud of that's uniquely mine. It was a major surprise to me that building the Cobra was as much fun as having and driving it!"
My husband and sons built a Factory Five Racing Cobra Kit car in 2003 and have renovated other cars since then. During that time, the agreement was: every Saturday was "car day" and no time constraints were placed on the guys. This helped keep balance in our lives. For those who may not know what a FFR Cobra is, here is a picture:
My husband goes on to say, "I don't look at cars - or most mechanical systems for that matter - as inanimate objects. They don't have feelings or emotions, but they definitely have a soul. Creating a car from a pile of parts is not very different - in my eyes at least - from creating a new life.
From a spiritual perspective, the conception, growth and nurturing process is very similar. Our children were born with a basic personality into which we injected our beliefs and values. A Cobra has its basic personality, too: my goal is to make it a unique being.
When you think about it, the car did reflect my personality in many ways:
I did not paint it a flashy color (silver); yet it was noticeable - but not too loud.
It was fast, but not ridiculously so.
It is a classic...with a touch of the modern."
It is amazing what you can learn about yourself by simply spending some quiet time reflecting on why a place, person or activity brings you such contentment in your life.
The greatest gift of this exercise is that it was shared with me. It brought my understanding of my husband (who I've been married to for 20 years) to a new depth.
And yes, I think the Cobra (affectionately called Tweek) is a beautiful reflection of my husband, Rich.
How perfectly fitting that our sons helped him with the creation of Tweek.
Rajai (pronounced "Ra-jay") Davis is a young man that I have had the privilege to know for about four years. By profession, he is a professional baseball player with the Pittsburg Pirates organization...but that is what he does...not who he is.
Rajai is a spiritual, charismatic, sweet, loyal man who is connected to his higher purpose in life. He feels that he was put on this earth to mentor inner city boys.
Rajai came to me to find his "voice." As an athlete and role model, he was asked to speak to groups about how he'd made his dreams of playing professional ball a reality, and he wanted to be a better speaker.
This post is part of the story of Rajai finding his inner voice through his quiet.
As I've said in my earlier posts, we all find our quiet in different places at different times. Rajai found is quiet in a hotel room through prayer. The son of a very religious mother, praying was always a part of life in his household...but just something "my mom did for many years."
In a conversation with Rajai Davis about his first foray into the minor leagues and how he dealt with the feeling of loneliness, he shared his struggle with me.
Prior to getting drafted, Rajai had only been away from home for two months at the most. Now he was faced with leaving his home and his family for long periods of time. "They're a phone call away, but they're not there in person which makes a difference, a big difference," Rajai explained.
Despite the anxiety of leaving behind what was familiar for the unknown, he embraced the challenge and told himself, "I've got to do this thing on my own. I've got to find out what's really going to push me because it was my mom that did, so much for me, but now it was time for me to do things for myself so that I can grow, so that I can learn."
One of the first things Rajai learned was that the power of prayer could counter his loneliness. He began to converse with God on a regular basis, asking for advice and sharing his thoughts on issues he was facing. It was then that Rajai realized why his mother had spent so much of his life praying. Able to release his emotions through prayer, Rajai was then able to focus on the task at hand: playing baseball. He admits, "I wouldn't have found out (my skill level as a baseball player) if I had stayed in the safety of my family. I had to go out and see for myself...and it was going to take me to do it for myself."
Rajai recognizes the powerful influence his mother's example had on him. By being a doer' by showing him the power of prayer, by living the word of God, Rajai's mother set him on a path to finding his own quiet time with God and himself and helped lead him to success on the ball field as well.
I have over 20 years of experience as an executive coach specializing in strategic communication. My years as a radio talk-show host have given me additional tools to provide communication coaching to entrepreneurs, as well as executives from Fortune 100 comapnies.
I've been a keynote speaker for corporate events, universities and industry conferences.
I'm a the author of From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership!" (Morgan James Publishing).
I'm a wife, a mother, an artist and an active volunteer in my community.
