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6 Simple Steps to Get What You Want

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6 Simples Steps to Get What You Want

By Michelle Yozzo Drake

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to always get exactly what they want? All they seem to have to do is snap their fingers and *poof* they've got the job they want, the home they want, the car they want, that gorgeous pair of shoes they want, even the soulmate they want. It's maddening, isn't it? Especially since most of us are floundering around, feeling inadequate, always wishing for things that never seem to materialize. And then we get resentful and even jealous. That's no way to go through life!

So today, I'm going to share with you the 6 secrets to getting what you want, no matter what it is! (And it's a heck of a lot simpler than you think!)

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#1: Clarification. Ask yourself: do I know what I really want? You'd be surprised at how many people don't really know what they desire. All they know is, it's not what they currently have. I'm not happy in this job...so what job do I want? I'm not jazzed about where I'm living...so where do I want to live? This relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be...so what kind of a person do I want to be with? What does "success" - in personal and professional matters - look like? When we have those goals in mind, it's easier to figure out how to achieve them. But if we don't look deeply into ourselves and clarify our wants and needs, and instead, simply say, "I want something better," it's impossible for us to start the work that's necessary to accomplish getting what we want.

#2: Open Your Mouth. Once you have your goals and wants in mind, you've got to vocalize them. We are not a society of mind-readers! And yet, sometimes, we're all guilty of feeling resentful toward people who aren't giving us what we want...and we forget that if we don't ask for it, how can they know? We need to express ourselves and drum up the courage to say, "I want X," so the people in our lives are aware and can help us work toward attaining X. 

#3: Anticipate the Response. Before you make your request - be it a promotion, a raise, or a change in personal relationships - anticipate how the person you're talking to will respond so you can be prepared to address their objections (if necessary) or offer up ways that they can help you achieve what you're asking for. Now, don't automatically assume that they're going to say no - that's negative thinking that can (and will) be projected and can hurt your chances of getting what you want. Anticipating a positive response might just put enough positive vibes out there in the world that, of course, you're going to get their cooperation and in turn, exactly what you're requesting.

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#4: What's In It For Them? It's time to switch perspectives here and put yourself in their shoes. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel about being asked for whatever it is you're asking for? What would make it beneficial for you to say yes? What positive outcomes will happen if you help this person get what they want...what will YOU get that might help you attain your goals? Now flip back to your own perspective and take what you've learned and share it with the person you're talking to so that they know how giving you what you want is mutually beneficial. And if you can't figure out how they may benefit, ask anyway! People will surprise you with their generosity and goodness of spirit, I swear.

#5: The Opportunity to Say No. This may sound contradictory, but when you go in to ask for what you want, give the person you're speaking to the opportunity to say no. Tell them: "It's okay if you don't want to do this, but this is what I would prefer." By doing this, you're creating a more relaxed environment where they can more objectively evaluate your request rather than get caught up in worrying about what you'll do or say if they deny you. By communicating to them that it's okay to say no, that you're not demanding their cooperation, you're giving them the freedom to clearly think about your request. And strange as it sounds, going in with this attitude will sometimes actually cause the other person to want to say yes to you even more! It's an odd quirk of human nature, but it's true.

#6: Be Brave. This is vital to getting what you want. You absolutely MUST be brave enough to step out of yourself and reach out to others, ask them for what you want, be prepared to discuss the situation with them, and in some cases, even fight for yourself.

Remember, you're not being selfish here. We ALL deserve to live the lives that we want to, to get what we want and what we need. By going out there and seizing what you want (barring, of course, any methods that would harm someone else or encroach on their own right to have the life they want) you're creating a positive world for you and those around you to live in.

Mom knows best...at work?! Absolutely! "Mom's Wisdom" applied in your workplace equals SUCCESS, and I'll prove it: check out my new book "From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom's Wisdom on Leadership" available in local bookstores and online at BarnesAndNoble.com!

To read more about this book, including excerpts, go to www.KitchentoCornerOffice.com!



I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances. Martha Washington