HomeAbout MichellePresentationsMeeting PlannersBooking InformationMediaResources
Watch Michelle Engage Her Audience - View Video

Monday, August 21, 2006

Transition is a Difficult Thing

I am in the middle of another major transition in my life. I have a choice on how I will handle it. I can make the transition easier for myself and others around me or I can make it miserable.

Being prepared to roll with change is a requirement to a fulfilled life...and it is just plain smart!

We droppped my oldest son at college and as a mom I am facing a redefinition of my role, in another year my youngest son leaves for school...making me an empty nester...it does not seem possible, but I am there. What will that mean to my parenting style, my marraige, my self image and my work?

Here is peek into the experiences of the past week and what I am taking out of them.

I have been on the road for almost a week, delivering my oldest son Michael to college 22 hours away from my home. The beginning of this journey was an emotional one. The first day we were in the car for 15 hours. 15 hours of thinking can bring up a lot of old stuff. Things I wished I had taken more time to enjoy with my kids, things I wished I had taken pictures of, and things that I am joyful that I chose. I felt like the foundation of my world was being shaken.

Will he miss me?
Will he be safe?
Will I ever be a part of his life again?
How do I let him know I love him without smothering him?
Can I let go enough to let him fly?
Can I hold on enough to keep him close to our family?

Change often brings questions that center around fear. I have always enjoyed change and am trying to keep an open mind about it now. In the closing meeting for parents at the orientation there were many Moms struggling. One, clearly in distress, asked the speaker a question...

How do we say good-bye?

I felt compelled to raise my hand and comment...I told her...

We don't have to say good-bye.

We should take this opportunity to tell our children that we are proud of who they are.

That we will always believe in them and their ability to achieve whatever they put their mind to.

I went over week without hearing from my son, after I left Florida Tech...it was a lesson in patience and trust. Intellectually, I know that it means that my husband and I did a good job in nurturing a confident and well-adjusted child. Emotionally, I wondered all of the questions above.

I got a call last night, yes, from Michael.

2 hours later, after hearing all of the cool stuff that he is doing...
I went to bed happy that I gave him his space and content that he chose to share it.

Labels:

Email This Page

Top of Page

4 Comments:

Anonymous Lisa T. said...

I took my son to his first day of first grade at his new school today. What a milestone. I think the moms were as overwhelmed and nervous as the children.

As we talked tonight about his day, I felt grateful that he was able to share with us that he had felt nervous standing in the courtyard lining up for school. What a gift to have that open communication--I hope that as my son grows, I will have your wisdom and trust level to give him the kind of space he needs that you gave Michael for a week before he called!

8/31/2006 8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I 've never seen such a great family~..you are all very admirable..i know my dad loves me, but he never pays more than 10 mins to listern to me. when i talk to him, all his reply is "um, ah,oh.."..could you help me to find a way communicate with him..i really want to know what is his thinking, so i can help him and understand him more.

9/08/2006 10:54 AM  
Blogger Michelle Yozzo Drake said...

To Anonymous,

I would try to see the world from your father's perspective. What kinds of activities interest him? Do you ask his advice on important matters? Do you ever ask him about his day? How does he feel about his choices in life?

Many times when we try to communicate with a loved one we only look from our own eyes. Be patient and gentle with your father. It is difficult to be a parent,and if he is not an expressive person in general it may be hard for him to express complex feelings to you.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

9/10/2006 5:04 PM  
Blogger Michelle Yozzo Drake said...

Lisa,

The experiences that our children put us through on the journey of helping them grow up challenge our patience sometimes. But when you try to always project a vote of confidence...even when you might be unsure yourself...you find the power in helping your child develop self-reliance.

It may feel easier to just step in and "help" but many times it just undermines your beautiful child's development.

After all, what we really want as parents is for our children to know how to love and be loved. Everything else falls into place if they have that. The trust that is necessary to let them fall and get up is built over time. We as Mom's begin to trust them to make wise choices and they as our children trust that if they need us we will be there to pick them up. Communication is the key.

I cried Mike's first day of kindergarten too!!!

9/10/2006 5:11 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home